Funny 1st World Dilemmas (part I)

You haven’t experienced true pain until you’ve lived in a First World country. Welcome to Johnny's blog, today I am counting down the 10 First World problems that can be related to any one.
For this list, I would not be taking a look at real issues like disease, poverty, or genocide, but the little things privileged people in the First World tend to blow out of proportion.

#10: Cleaning Lady Didn’t Show Up

If you’re tired of rolling around in your own filth and are too lazy to sanitize the house yourself, hire a maid to do your dirty work. Since you’re unlikely to pay her above minimum wage, though, there’s a good chance your cleaning lady will occasionally be tardy or absent. Then who’s going to Windex the counter tops, scrub the toilets, and get the hair out of the shower drain? Ah well, maybe it’s for the best. Consuela always starts cleaning the bathroom just when you need to take a dump.

#9: Choosing Where to Eat Lunch

You’d think with so many restaurants to choose from, it wouldn’t be so hard for two people to come to a mutual agreement on where to eat. Alas, every time one person makes a recommendation, the other person immediately shoots it down. Either the suggested eatery is too fattening, too greasy, too expensive, too low-class, or they’re just sick of it. Then by the time you guys finally decide where to do lunch, break time’s over. Just go to a food court next time. There’s something there for everyone.

#8: Fridge Full of Food, But Not Hungry

There’s no shortage of First World problems pertaining to food, such as your dinner going cold, consuming too much sushi at that business brunch, or being totally out of sustenance. The most tragic food-relation crisis imaginable, however, is having no appetite to feast upon the wonderful treats in your fully stocked fridge. Although that leftover pizza, Mom’s homemade egg salad, and chocolate cake are calling out to your gut, you’re simply not hungry enough to take even one bite. At least all those starving children will never know this burden.

#7: Bed’s Too Comfortable to Get Up

After a long day at the office, there’s no better place to unwind than in a luxurious bed. The only dilemma is sometimes the bed will be so comfy that you’ll be reluctant to get up the next morning. It’s so tempting to hit the snooze button, call in sick to school or work, and spend all eternity wrapped up in your covers. Sadly, stupid life inevitably requires you to arise and contribute something to stupid society. Oh well, chances are you’d need to go to the bathroom eventually anyway.

#6: Updating Software

Although the digital age has given us countless innovative conveniences, there have also been some unforgivable drawbacks. For example, how many times are we expected to update the software on our laptops, tablets, and phones? There’s a new version of iTunes available?! We already downloaded the last version a month ago! The Xbox needs to undergo another system update?! You seriously expect us to wait five minutes to play “Dragon Age: Inquisition!” Ain’t nobody got time for that! You call this the digital age? More like the Stone Age!